I think I’ve managed to get 10 hours of sleep in the last 5 days. I’m so tired that on Wednesday night I cried uncle 20 minutes into my normally 1.5 hour workout. Thursday I made it to 30 minutes and tonight? I gave up completely. Considering that I’ve only missed 1 day in the last 6 months, thats a lot for me to miss.
Insomnia sucks. Its driving me crazy. I just don’t understand how I can be so damn tired but yet I can’t sleep.
I have yet to take anything to help me sleep, aside from sleepy time tea. This insomnia thing is becoming a pretty common problem with me these days and I’m petrified of becoming dependent on a med. I need to find another remedy. Tonight though, I’m not only exhausted, I’m stuffy and congested. I’m totally going to use that as my excuse to take nyquil. Hopefully this will work. Le Sigh.
5 signs that you’re just too damn tired and should just end the day
1. You stand at your car clicking the unlock button on your remote wondering why the hell it won’t open. 10 minutes and a lot of 4 letter words later you realize you’re clicking the trunk button.
2. Call 411. When the operator asks “City and State Please” reply with I don’t remember and promptly hang up.
3. Spend the next 10 minutes trying to remember who you were trying to call.
4. Fall asleep standing up while thinking about # 3.
5. @ 9:30pm suddenly wake up thinking its 6 in the morning and start to head to the shower.
Great! Apparently there was a security breech at one of the grocery stores we occasionally shop at. We looked over a few bank statements and it seems as if we’re not affected (yet?), thank goodness. We’re still going to be canceling our debit cards though. Rather be safe than sorry right?! Right, except how annoying! We’ll be without a debit card for at least a week. I know I shouldn’t complain, it could be worse but still, grrrrr! Kev can handle working with cash during that time but me, not so much. Cash burns a hole in my pocket. Its like magic! Cash? Pocket? Poof! Gonzo! Looks like I’ll be using credit. I just need to remember this is not a free pass to charge up a storm…
Ill. Kev is currently in the other room doing our taxes. I hate taxes. Specifically, taxes that involve stock options.
I’ll be pacing for a while. I’ll also be attacking this big bag of pretzels. So much for cutting back on carbs/salt.
Anywho, lets talk about my dream last night. In my dream I called 411 for the phone number to the dry cleaners down the street. 411 attempted to connect my call but it was redirected to my phone. I apparently didn’t realize what had happened and ended up holding a conversation with myself. This happened 3 more times before I woke up. Weird.
Mental note to pick up the comforter from the dry cleaners tomorrow...
I don’t understand a lot of things. Why traffic sucks for no reason at all, why my neighbors constantly burn popcorn, etc. The one thing that really confuzzles me though, beyond all confuzzlement, is why this tiny condo is a constant mess. Seriously, why? The husband and I are hardly home and yet when I am home all I find myself doing is cleaning and picking up and cleaning and then picking up more stuff. It never ends. How much stuff can we have in 650 square feet?
What a waste of a weekend. Saturday, rain. Perfect day to clean right? Thats what I thought and what I said I would do all day. But I never did. I sat on the couch all day watching cheesy movies. I did manage to get to the gym but thats about it.
Today - didn’t touch the couch. I didn’t touch the mops, sponges, etc either. Now I’m sitting here in a pile of dirty laundry trying to sort while staring at a filthy floor. With another insane week ahead of me, I’m kicking myself for my “slothness.” I could use that hour we lost back. Or a cleaning service.
So I had the opportunity to spend my upcoming birthday in Paris this year. I turned it down. Instead, I opted for NYC.
Some statistics for you:
Number of times I’ve been to Paris: 0
Number of times I’ve been to NYC: At least 100
Why the hell did I turn down Paris? Why because of my dear, dear, dear friend anxiety! Lame excuse? Maybe for you but not for me.
The fact that neither the husband or I know a single word of French was not sitting well with me. I ran a ton of possible scenarios of what could happen because we couldn’t communicate in my head for days. Each scenario grew more intense until I finally had an full blown anxiety attack. Then another and another.
Le sigh.
Am I being ridiculous? Yes but thats what anxiety does to me. I know there are ways to get by, people do this all the time right? Right, of course they do but when the smallest situation arises and I’m not able to handle it, I panic. When I panic I can’t think straight which leads me to make bad decisions. Believe me, this has gotten me into trouble in the past, even with the husband right there with me.
I’ll get to Paris someday soon, just not for my birthday. I need more time to prepare.
Colleen is 29 yrs old and lives with "The Husband" somewhere between Boston and Cambridge. (Ok, this is no longer true but I'm still not ready to admit to this)
Her days are spent searching for needles in haystacks and hugging her coach bag. Her nights are spent doing anything but house work.
