Someone needs to smack me
So I had the opportunity to spend my upcoming birthday in Paris this year. I turned it down. Instead, I opted for NYC.
Some statistics for you:
Number of times I’ve been to Paris: 0
Number of times I’ve been to NYC: At least 100
Why the hell did I turn down Paris? Why because of my dear, dear, dear friend anxiety! Lame excuse? Maybe for you but not for me.
The fact that neither the husband or I know a single word of French was not sitting well with me. I ran a ton of possible scenarios of what could happen because we couldn’t communicate in my head for days. Each scenario grew more intense until I finally had an full blown anxiety attack. Then another and another.
Le sigh.
Am I being ridiculous? Yes but thats what anxiety does to me. I know there are ways to get by, people do this all the time right? Right, of course they do but when the smallest situation arises and I’m not able to handle it, I panic. When I panic I can’t think straight which leads me to make bad decisions. Believe me, this has gotten me into trouble in the past, even with the husband right there with me.
I’ll get to Paris someday soon, just not for my birthday. I need more time to prepare.
Le sigh.
Some day I’ll kick anxiety’s ass.
